“You are the saltiest pretzel in the bag of my life”
—Internet

“Once you go black, the cops will attack”
—Lisa Lampanelli

“I’ve been standing here watching prostitutes buy pantyhose!”
—Bobby  from King of the Hill
                 
-”See, the problem is, it’s supposed to sound like ‘DA-DAA-DA-DE-DE-DUM’, but y’all playing it like y’all gay ‘DA-DA-I-AM-A-PUNK’”
-”That’s my people! If y’all were white, you would’ve shut up 15 minutes ago!”
-”He did a complete 270. Not a 360, because he’d be right back where he started!”
-”Take the swine otta that sound.”
-”ROLL!”
-”I’m on my period.”
-”HEY DARKIE, YOU THINK YOU CAN KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT?!?!”
-”Somebody gonna tell me `Oh Mr. Harley, can I go to the bathroom, I’m on my period.` And I’ll say I know you bleeding….I can smell it.”
-”You know you on my hitlist, son?”
-”Take it back to the diamond!”
-”You ever see someone smile and they so ugly you pee on yourself ?”
-Harley: “We all know how to count 6/8 yesno?”
Band: Yes, sir.
Harley: “A quarter note receives 7 counts yesno?”
Band: “Yes….sir?”
*Harley smile*
—Mr. Harley

“Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr. Conway Twitty”
—Peter from Family Guy

O.J. Simpson: “Are you Peter Griffin?”
Peter Griffin: “That’s my name, don’t put a knife in it.”

Peter: “Brian, there’s a message in my cereal. It says ‘Oooooooo’”
Brian: “Peter, those are Cheerios.”

“And boom goes the dynamite.”
—Cleveland from Family Guy

-”2 halves can’t make a whole without a hole.”
-”Giggity”
—Quagmire

“Umm is NOT an answer!”
—Judge Judy

“Your teeth are so big you could feed a family of 4 with the food left on your dental floss.”
—DSi Commercial

“You ARE/ARE NOT the father!”
—Maury

“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt”
—Abraham Lincoln

“Her boobs were hangin so low i wanted to fire her bra for slackin on the job.”
—Josh

-”Iight”
-”I’m boutta rip it.”
—Shahim

-”Black folks been doin’ that for years.”
—My Mom

“Some people are just a waste of a good nut.”
—JB

“I feel prostituted.”
—Dr. Andrews

“Put the shut to the up.”
—Madea

“Obama put us 10 steps forward and BET sets us 12 steps back!”
—Cedric

“The friction of your fingers in combination with the ashiness of your skin can cause spontaneous combustion.”
—Peabo from Proud Family

“It’s impossible”
—Jayda

“Don’t trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn’t die.”
—Jeff Fecke

“REPEAT THE COMMAND!”
—Monika

“When you assume, you make an ass out of u and me.”
—Oscar Wilde

“You can’t fix stupid”
—Ron White

“I nearly choked on your hot cinnamon smell.”
—Brittany

Rallo: “How do you sleep at night?”
Cleveland: “Butt naked next to yo momma!”

“An amateur practices until he gets it right. A professional practices until he can’t get it wrong.”
—Mr. Fadoul

The song album of the day is ”8ight: The Stepson of Erykah Badu” by AlcoholHarmony

I’ve posted this album before, but this is the “Annie Don’t Wear No Panties Edition”, aka the “Unedited/Uncensored” version.

Of course, the link can be found here: http://durandbernarr.bandcamp.com/album/8ight-the-stepson-of-erykah-badu

(I finally got the mp3′s to work!!!) =]

Apparently you're going the wrong way...

But by whose standards?
Who died and told you that you could determine what qualities/skills make a musician “great” or even to be called “the greatest of all time”. Is this just a way of telling everyone who plays that instrument that if you don’t play like or sound like this person, you’re wrong?!   

How fair is that?!
I own a method book for xylophone written by George Hamilton Green. Throughout the book he offers advice on how you should be playing the exercises. And he doesn’t encourage. He’s very demanding, almost forceful. I am always discouraged when I can’t play through his simple exercises with the “proper technique”.
But what makes HIS technique the “proper” technique? Why can’t I be creative? Isn’t that what music is about? If you tell ALL xylophone players that they HAVE to play this way and if not, they’re wrong, how fair is that? It’s very disheartening to people (especially myself) when I can’t do things as well as someone else and I’m put to shame for it. 
But you MUST play like this…
Why?
Because it’s accepted…
There’s no other way to do it…..   

But then there are those who pick up on the “proper” way to do things. The “fast learners” who have gone through the method book already and their own method book has already been sent to the publisher. They don’t have anything else to learn but the notes. Watching them always motivates me…..until I realize……..these people are my age. Now I wonder……   

Where did I go wrong? Why can’t I do that? These kids are college professional level.   

Why can’t I be?   

Is it something I’m doing? I just want to know why I’m getting ready to go to college in a year or so and I’m not even on the same level as them. And surely enough, we’re gonna audition back to back, one after another.   

And who are they gonna pick?   

Not me.   

Apparently I’m not doing it “right”.   

-Maurice W.

The song of the day for today is "Mother Earth" by David Maslanka

This is the newest release by one of my favorite artists, Durand Bernarr aka AlcoholHarmony. His mixtape is called:

“8ight: The Stepson of Erykah Badu [Jesus Edition]”

PLEASE download this. It is TRULY amazing. The download link can be found here:

 http://origsupawoman.blogspot.com/2010/02/8ight-stepson-of-erykah-badu-official.html